“There is nothing which is more purifying the knowledge, clarity in thinking about the roles and the reality is essential. Understand that the roles we are playing are temporary & relative. The reality in me is the Truth, is absolute” —words from the Bhagavad Gita that have pulled me through an extremely stressful time as of late.
I have yet to talk about this openly, only my “inner circle” knows —AKA basically my mother and fiancé,& now realtor. Long story short: I live in an apartment, & have lived in the same complex for almost 3 years with no issues or health hazards like mold (the one & only thing that has ever sparked Lyme relapse for me is toxic mold exposure). Over the past few months though, I started having little indicators pop up out of the blue signaling mold exposure —such as a random nose bleed (only ever get in mold), burning skin, & onset of brain fog followed by an increase in severity of brain fog at a rapid rate over the past few wks. At first the indicators were only here & there, so they were easy to blow off (I mean, who doesn’t want to blow off the idea that they are in mold AGAIN & have to uproot their lives & possibly get rid of everything they own AGAIN & start from scratch with literally a few outfits & only a mattress on the floor AGAIN to avoid falling or remaining deathly ill from toxic mold & mycotoxins?)
Unfortunately, it recently came to a point where the possibility could no longer be shrugged off, as mold symptoms seemed to encompass me all at once. So, I admitted to my fiancé that I was feeling mold symptoms (I hadn’t up until this past wk, not wanting to stress the poor guy who has thrown away all our belongings LITERALLY due to mold in the past & worked so hard to move me to healthy places & purchase all new stuff yet again). It turns out my trust in the universe, in him, in the kindness of other humans was wavering …b/c when I told him it didn’t set off a fight or flight anger response. Instead, you know what happened? My family & him rallied together, found me a new home (completely grounded out, no carpet, new, in the woods away from high EMFs even), & told our apartment we need to leave due to mold. Our apartments said no, we couldn’t leave & break our lease. In response, my support system had some hilarious choice words …&, in short, proved they care FAR more about my life than a lease agreement & a possible bad credit score, & started packing up today. That’s when it hit me: SO many people would not do that, I am so incredibly lucky. SO many people do not realize that when a life is at risk, it is so much more important than “items” & the like. I am lucky&grateful beyond belief.
Still, it’s a time when stress levels risk being @ an all time high. So, I’ve spent the past wk doing some of my fav distressing activities while my loved ones have secured a safe home for me —meditating, reading my fav books like the bhagavadgita & doing restorative & heart opening yoga practices & poses, such as Camel Pose. The strength of those around me has inspired me to stay strong in the face of skin that is on fire & a brain swollen so badly I literally see red.
Long meditation sessions & yoga sequences involving asanas like Camel Pose have seriously kept me afloat & from falling prey to excessive stress & overwhelm. Camel is one of my favorite back bends and heart openers, as it reminds us to be gentle with ourselves and nourish ourselves on all levels —mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Camel Pose (Ustrasana ) is often a difficult pose at first, both physically and emotionally, not only because it is a deep back bend but because it is such a vulnerable pose which, on spiritual/psychological levels, requires total surrender to and trust in the universe.